


I like Muse, you like Muse

by Fictropes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29050566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictropes/pseuds/Fictropes
Summary: Has a celebrity ever slid into your dms?
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 38
Kudos: 121





	I like Muse, you like Muse

Phil hadn’t understood, at least not at first. 

Dan sent flirty, borderline horny dms, that Phil would misconstrue. Thought Dan just wanted to be best friends, thought Dan wanted _actual_ editing tips. It’d taken a few blatant words to really get the point across, to make Phil realise. 

And he’s still like it now, people will slide into his dms and Phil will think nothing of it. All those undertones of _want_ go ignored, Phil thinks they’re genuinely looking to talk about houseplants. About once a month he’ll wave his phone in Dan’s face, get all excited about the person who’s messaged him. 

Dan has to sit him down and explain that, no, they’re not really looking for a fake beard, they’re not curious about where his jumper is from. They definitely aren’t inviting him over for a one-on-one plant tips session.

“It’s like—god. Phil, c’mon.” He wants to shake him, rattle that brain around in Phil’s skull until it understands. Understands that all of _him_ is what people want, that he’s charming and pretty and—he’s really not trying to pimp out his partner… but. He just wants Phil to get it, to get what Dan sees every single day. 

“What? It’s just a message! A friendly one.”

“Remember how I slid into your dms and was basically—hm.” Dan frowns, because he’s about to be a shit and ruin the grounds on which this relationship was built. “I like muse, you like muse… let’s fuck.”

“Dan!” Phil sounds a little bit sad, and Dan knows if he were to look up he’d be getting a proper wide eyed look. “We like Muse for the music.”

“And the fucking.” Dan adds.

“Shutup, stop making our love horny.” 

“It’s horny love.”

“Yes but…” Phil sighs, defeated. He can’t deny it, not when they’re sat dicks out on the sofa after a mid afternoon handjob. “Let’s pretend that sometimes we’re good and pure. And that we like music for musical reasons.” 

“This guy literally winked.” Dan says, swivelling Phil’s phone around. “You don’t just wink for funsies.”

“No.” Phil says, then he narrows his eyes at the phone Dan is still clinging to like that’ll reveal something new. “No, he wouldn’t.”

“He literally did!” Dan laughs, just because Phil looks so fucking aghast. 

“It might’ve been a mis-wink.”

“He also winked in the next message after that.” Dan points out, locking Phil’s phone and handing it back just so he can see for himself. Or delete it, pretend it never happened. “Gonna run off with him and all the others?”

“The new house is big enough for us to have a wing each, I think. Fuck wings, I’ll take the right.” Phil says, and he’s trying to hide just how smug he is but it’s not working. Dan can hardly see Phil’s face, but he can still see the shit eating grin. “Invite over all my… dmers? Introduce them to my soulmate in the kitchen.” 

“Yeah?” Dan snorts. “That our new arrangement? I’ll eat breakfast with you every morning, and we’ll talk about how important we are to each other whilst they just awkwardly sit there with some crunchy nut.”

“Exactly. Just go lightly on the husband thing.” Phil smiles. “Please.”

“You ever gonna let that go? Or?” 

“Oh, never. My mum read that and had me on the phone for, like, two hours. Had to reassure her we hadn’t eloped.” Phil wriggles until he’s sprawled over Dan’s lap, all elbows and sharp angles. “Lucky you’re pretty.”

“I’m sure that’s it.” Dan cards his fingers through Phil’s floppy quiff, tries to get it stand upright over and over until Phil gets sick of it and bats him away. “Can’t believe you have all the celebrities trying to bang you.”

“Stop pulling my hair out, Danny, I will bang the celebrities if you keep being annoying.” But Phil’s got his eyes closed like he’s enjoying it, and when Dan starts up again he doesn’t complain. 

“Careful.” Dan warns. “Might be in the mood to be jealous.”

“You’re always in the mood.” Phil yawns, a hand over his mouth. “Read all my other messages and tell me who’s actually been flirting, wanna make a list.” 

“For your fuck wing?” Dan asks, taking Phil’s phone back off him. He presses his thumb left thumb against the home button and watches it open. “This is probably gonna take me a week.”

“It’s weird.” Phil’s near whispering now, and Dan’s convinced he’s going to be asleep in the next five minutes. “I feel like everyone knows we’re together.” 

“We’ve never confirmed it.” Dan shrugs, avoiding a message from someone they know and are friends with in real life— just incase it's borderline _something_. “Still have a little bit of hope in their amazingphil stan heart.”

“Yeah but…” Phil’s lips pucker, something like a pout but not quite there. “We look at each  other, like, all the time. In a _way._ A special way.” 

“Just say I look like a lovesick puppy at all times and go.” 

“It’s cute.” Phil shrugs. “And I don’t come off much better, edit half them out though.”

“Thanks.”

“Welcome.”

“Ooooo, this guy definitely wants your dick. He could not be more obvious.” Dan wants to reply, wants to be a little bastard and mark his territory. But they’d both agreed, they’re both private, they can both say whatever they want as long as it’s not straight up confirmation. 

“Is the back of my head on your dick right now?” Phil asks.

“Yeah, tickles a bit.”

“Good.” Phil smiles. “Only dick I want. Now stop looking and nap with me instead.” 

“You told me to look!” Dan whines, but he does as he’s told because he really is just torturing himself at this point. “But you get it now, yeah?”

“Yeah” Phil confirms. “I’m sexy and everyone is in my dms for sexy reasons.” 

**Author's Note:**

> in this world they have the iphones with the fingerprint option cos 1. the face ones are evil and 2. i believe that before the face ones they definitely had each others finger prints on phones just 2 save time (and because of the whole right handed left handed business... it's perfect<3) 
> 
> [if you wanna reblog on tumblr I always appreciate it!](https://fictropes.tumblr.com/post/641596806392905728/i-like-muse-you-like-muse-complete-983-t-has)
> 
> as alwyas, lemme know your thooouuuughhhts <3.


End file.
